You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize