I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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