Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
