Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
