as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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