So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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