she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
