i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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