and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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