Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
