____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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