I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
