Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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