I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
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I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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