just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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