totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
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OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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