I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
