is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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