Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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