NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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