He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
