A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
