If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
