i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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