what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
