Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
