i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
