ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize