So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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