the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
