Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hippo gnu deer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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