hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize