I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
