YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
