everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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