She's JV to your varsity
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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