we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
