Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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