shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
we're so committed to being not committed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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