operation have a gay friend backfired
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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