Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
