how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
