Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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