I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
