so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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