the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I AM VODKA MAN
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
