I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You made out with two different species that night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
