Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
