im about as happy as oj after his trial
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
