i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
