I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sobbing to NWA
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
