She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
