Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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