i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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