he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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