I'm so fucking centered right now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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