Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize