why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
