Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
