AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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