I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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