I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
