You tried to poop in the sink last night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize