Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
