Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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