so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
