It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
