Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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